Perfection.
We all want it. But it takes energy and discipline to get even close to it, and even then, when we are running constantly on the discipline treadmill there will still never be a way to attain it. Does that mean we just don't try? Well that's what I've done for years. If I can't do something perfectly, I just don't do it.
But as Elsa says, (endlessly on a loop around here) I need to Let It Go. Perfection, hit the road.
Still in the back recesses of my tiny brain that image of perfection lurks. What does it look like? Well it goes something like this:
It is five am. My alarm trills with a sweetness that brings me joy. I leap up out of bed and head to the shower where I spend a few moments to myself, in prayer and preparation for my day. I head downstairs, let the dogs out, and start the Keurig for a cup of coffee. At this point, I head to my laptop that lives on the roll-top desk in our front room. The desk is neat as a pin, everything organized and labeled. I head over to my daily devotional reading at She Reads Truth. When I am finished, I thoughtfully and prayerfully plan my day in my adorable Erin Condren Planner (due to arrive next week, actually). Then I head off to do my morning routine adapted from FlyLady. In this moments, I flit around my cleaning zone with a mix of determination and joy. Then I eat breakfast and head back upstairs to get dressed for work (the week's outfits picked out and hung ready to go--something I actually DO), and to make my bed once it has been emptied of children, cats and a husband. Some mornings, I may even have time for a nice walk to get my blood going.
At work my sessions run smoothly according to the plans for the day. Paperwork is where it belongs. Meetings are attended. I spread light and joy with confidence wherever I go.
When I arrive home from work, I do not dump things near the door. I wrap an apron around my waist and I prepare dinners which have been planned for a month at a time (I'm actually fairly good at this part). When I open drawers, cabinets and closets things are put away and labeled. There is order and peace.
Children do chores and earn rewards from the chore store system I have set up. After dinner dishes go directly into the dishwasher and the dishwasher runs every night. The house is tidied before bed and when I lay my head down at night, I know that if someone breaks in to our house and the police have to come at least I won't be humiliated by the mess.
Want to know my reality? The alarm goes off and I keep saying "five more minutes" until my response becomes "CRAP!" and then I don't even have time to eat breakfast; instead I'm eating goldfish crackers out of the packaging while I drive.
I never forget my coffee, though.
I've seen decorating pictures on Pinterest lately that are marked "BEFORE" and "PROGRESS" rather than "BEFORE" and "AFTER" I like this idea. My mom used to teach college-level English composition classes and she used to say, "A paper is never done, it is only due." That's true for everything in life, isn't it? There is no "after" there is just where we are today. And I hope that place is progress.
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